Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Last Minute Panic Sets in

Oh it's only a few days left until the big day! The wrapping paper is bought! The travel tickets home are booked and your in the midst of various festivities that involve booze. But despite all these preparations, you're still missing the vital things for a successful visit home. The presents. Now your parents will understand the lack of gifts but siblings and partners are less forgiving. Or so I've heard....

Now is the moment where you MUST go into the shops as online shopping now is futile! Here's just a quick little guide on what best to get family members and partners from the high street in one fell swoop.

For the Girlfriend
Now if your girlfriend is anything like me ( slightly odd, baby dickhead, crude&rude young lady who has hopeless flirty skills) then the following things are ideal.

Owl Bedding
Vintage Suede Fringe Jacket
Jeffery Campbell Tick Wedge Boots
£130 Office

For the Boyfriend
Now if you're like me and are absolutely useless at buying the other half a present when you have one, then follow this rough little guide. They're safe, practical things that can't go wrong!
Herschel Grey Backpack
£27.99 Game

For the Siblings
Now the siblings presents are easy if you just choose androgynous presents that could potentially cover both siblings and disqualify any petty bickering.

Lomography Dreamer Diana F+ Camera
Chill Pill Portable Speakers
£39.99 Selfridges

American Apparel Unisex Hoodie

Now hopefully that should help tie up a few loose ends for you! Now I'd personally like to thank Miss P For harassing me to finally write this up and for this I would like to offer her the chance to buy me this Cake Pop Kit

Merry Christmas Everybody! xxx

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Can't Fight That Festive Feeling!

It's that time again! The time when children go into a sugar induced frenzy over toys. The time when the shops are crowded and mildly dangerous. The time when stumbling home covered in glitter at 5am is deemed acceptable. A time when your bank manager is rubbing his hands together. All of these things do not put me in a festive mood. Well to be honest, I am rather fond of the glitter thing! To follow the old cliche, Christmas is a time for friends and family. Considering today's economic and political climate, those words couldn't be more true today than ever. But still it is rather nice to get a gift from somebody you love.

Now if you, like me and copious amounts of my friends, have found yourselves lacking funding to buy outstanding presents then read on. If you do find that you have money to buy them, then please think of your Little Critic and send a Kitchen Aid my way please.

I've noticed lately that every newspaper and magazine in the past week have spreads on spending on a budget. Funnily enough, the things under £10's were either socks, underwear or something that has no real function. No. Just no. I have had my fill of festive socks and underwear. It is only acceptable to buy a woman underwear if you are either A. Her boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife/partner B. Her Sugar-daddy C. Her boss down in the local "Tease and Tassels" club. If you are not in these three categories then don't do it. If you are then please, please, PLEASE buy something sexy. Novelty underwear is fine......but don't expect sex. You have been warned.

This is Sexy


Moving swiftly on. For those of us who will not be receiving things and shall only be giving this Christmas, I have carefully selected items that you can either make or buy for the ones you love. Now I could put them all in one post but unfortunately I have flu and my motivation levels have dropped after opening the first door on the advent calender. But I'll give you the first thing that I can think of for the moment.

For Mum

Afternoon tea. Now I haven't met a girl yet who's had afternoon tea and has refused to have it again. Afternoon tea is the opportunity to indulge in a primal sense of luxury and opulence, without having to go white tie. Think more Atonement and Downton Abbey than meeting the royals. In London there are various places where you can do Afternoon Tea but I'd personally stick with the top notch places because after all, it is mum!

I have vivid memories of visiting relatives and having afternoon tea or high tea with them. Occasions such as these is what births the stigma attached to afternoon tea. But today, afternoon tea is very Haute Fashion at the moment. At roughly £40-£50 per person for a basic afternoon tea, these places will refuse to offer you soggy sandwiches with fish paste in them.